[Ellen]

Take care of yourself and your children Julie. It sounds like you are doing a great job these days of doing just that.

I am so sorry that you are having to go through this with your husband.

If I can help you or your children, please let me know.

[frontporchmom]

I was really curious about drossers question on whether meth is physically or pyschologically addictive. Does anyone know if this is true. I have never heard this and I guess I always assumed that it was comparable to alcohol or other drugs. If anyone out there knows more about it please post. Maybe it could help people better understand how to deal with it. Good luck Julie. I truly hope everthing works out for your family.

[fitfabandfree]

I was really curious about drossers question on whether meth is physically or pyschologically addictive. Does anyone know if this is true. I have never heard this and I guess I always assumed that it was comparable to alcohol or other drugs. If anyone out there knows more about it please post. Maybe it could help people better understand how to deal with it. Good luck Julie. I truly hope everthing works out for your family.

My ex is going through this. He and some others I know quit, and they say it is psychological. You don't go through withdrawls, you just can't have it around you or you will use.

[fitfabandfree]

JulieRhea:

You are a remarkable woman. And much stronger than I think I could be.

I don't know much about meth, so I have a question. I have a friend who's daughter was using. She had been using for about 2 years. Then she got pregnant and stopped. When the baby was a couple of months old, she started back. She ended up getting busted. Her mother wanted to get her into a program to help her "dry out". She was told that there were no programs like that in the metropolitan Atlanta area. She was told that meth was not physically addicting but was psychologically addicting. When her daughter got out of jail, she completely stopped using. She just up and made the decision that it was not worth losing her child over.

She is doing great and has no desire to go back to that lifestyle. I'm very proud of her because I've know her since she was a baby. And she was never in any kind of trouble. Always a good girl. The father of her baby got her into this mess. He, by the way, is also clean now.

So, I'm just wondering whether it is physically or just pyschologically addicting. I was very confused when my friend told me that this place told her it was not physically addicting, because I thought it was.

This is very important. i have some info on a place (my brother went for a little while) that is free to go to. It is a one year program. It is called the Jefferson House in Jefferson, GA. You have to fill out an application to go there, but people who really want help go there, and basically work for their treatment. It has something like 50 acres, they have livestock, and farming, and people go there and take care of the animals, and help pick and grow the food. They all chip in and prepare the food, and they can learn a trade like auto mechanics, or cabinet building. Then they have like 3 different meetings they attend everyday and each person is assigned a counselor. As long as they follow the rules of the program and do the work, their room and board is free. Unfortunately my brother gave up after 2 months and is using again. He just didn't want to follow the rules or work for what they were doing for him.

[penguin]

I was really curious about drossers question on whether meth is physically or pyschologically addictive. Does anyone know if this is true. I have never heard this and I guess I always assumed that it was comparable to alcohol or other drugs. If anyone out there knows more about it please post. Maybe it could help people better understand how to deal with it. Good luck Julie. I truly hope everthing works out for your family.

http://www.meth-in-d...Information.htm

The Douglas County Meth Task force has a clip called Crystal Death Movie on the above website. It explains how meth effects the brain (also has treatment info, signs of use, etc.). When someone tries to quit it causes an awlful depression because the brain is not the same - it's pyschological addictive but the way it changes the brain - causes a physical factor. In the trainings I had about meth with Jesse Hambrick (with the DoCo Meth Task force) said once you do meth, chocolate never taste as good - because it messes up you pleasure senses in the brain

from: http://www.sciencent...le_id=218392428
" "When people take crystal meth and become dependent on the drug, there is a real change in how the brain works," she says. "Very specifically, those circuits in the brain that are primarily in the pre-frontal cortex are down-regulated." The pre-frontal cortex is responsible for controlling behavior, but it also regulates an area in the lower brain—the amygdala—responsible for emotion. "The methamphetamine abuser, at least in early abstinence, has a pre-frontal cortex that's not doing its job of controlling the amygdala. So when the methamphetamine user is reminded of drug taking by being in a place where he or she took the drug before…or even the feeling of money in the pocket that could be used to take the drug, this turns on the amygdala and other areas of the brain that are important for craving."

Coupled with cranked-up craving is another danger, a depression so crushing the alternative—more meth—seems preferable. "There's an incredible manic high that's followed by this depression that feels like it's ripping me apart," Lee L. says. "

- this article also has pictures and much more great info.

and from: http://www.nmtf.us/m...amphetamine.htm

Meth is highly addictive, personality altering and can cause violent, bizarre behavior. Other effects on the central nervous system include irritability, insomnia, confusion and paranoia. Meth robs the body of calcium and appears to have a neurotoxic effect, damaging brain cells that contain dopamine and serotonin, another neurotransmitter. Over time meth appears to cause reduced levels of dopamine, which can result in symptoms like those of Parkinson's disease and type-two schizophrenia. Meth causes increased heart rate and blood pressure and can cause irreversible damage to blood vessels in the brain, producing strokes. Other effects of meth include respiratory problems, irregular heartbeat and extreme anorexia. Its use can result in cardiovascular collapse and death. Exerpt from NMTF Article: WASTED Toxins from Meth Labs Endanger Communities.


We have all got to work together to PREVENT METH use - people can get hooked from the first use is some cases - and recovery is very difficult.

Martha

[frontporchmom]

Penguin(Martha) thank you for posting the links. They were very eye opening (especially the pictures) and very disturbing. It is very sad that people actually make a choice to use this drug. I hope the links posted will be read by many in the effort to make more people be more aware of what to look for. Thank you again for taking the time to look those up and post. Julie I hope and Pray that everything works out for you and hopefully Jeremy will be able to get help from one of these programs listed.

[penguin]

Penguin(Martha) thank you for posting the links. They were very eye opening (especially the pictures) and very disturbing. It is very sad that people actually make a choice to use this drug. I hope the links posted will be read by many in the effort to make more people be more aware of what to look for. Thank you again for taking the time to look those up and post. Julie I hope and Pray that everything works out for you and hopefully Jeremy will be able to get help from one of these programs listed.

Thanks - I hope folks take the time to at least view the Douglas County meth task force link.

At Paulding CASA we see the sad effects everyday on the children we serve - the families ripped apart, young parents with terrible health and rotted out teeth. Many of these young children will never be returned to their parents because the parents can not recover and stay clean. Children are neglected, abused, holes punched in the walls, etc. People on meth are also abusing other drugs...they often must take drugs to be able to crash and sleep - then they go on a deep deep sleep for a long time (futher nelectingthe children if they are in the home).

Social Service areas started doing a lot of training over the last 4 - 5 years ago, but much of the general public has no idea.

[MizCue]

JulieRhea:

You are a remarkable woman. And much stronger than I think I could be.

I don't know much about meth, so I have a question. I have a friend who's daughter was using. She had been using for about 2 years. Then she got pregnant and stopped. When the baby was a couple of months old, she started back. She ended up getting busted. Her mother wanted to get her into a program to help her "dry out". She was told that there were no programs like that in the metropolitan Atlanta area. She was told that meth was not physically addicting but was psychologically addicting. When her daughter got out of jail, she completely stopped using. She just up and made the decision that it was not worth losing her child over.

She is doing great and has no desire to go back to that lifestyle. I'm very proud of her because I've know her since she was a baby. And she was never in any kind of trouble. Always a good girl. The father of her baby got her into this mess. He, by the way, is also clean now.

So, I'm just wondering whether it is physically or just pyschologically addicting. I was very confused when my friend told me that this place told her it was not physically addicting, because I thought it was.

Are you ready for this??...Neither is crack or cocaine!...medical detox is not needed..now as far as alcohol and Herion?...You better believe it!

[Don't Ask Why]

I was really curious about drossers question on whether meth is physically or pyschologically addictive. Does anyone know if this is true. I have never heard this and I guess I always assumed that it was comparable to alcohol or other drugs. If anyone out there knows more about it please post. Maybe it could help people better understand how to deal with it. Good luck Julie. I truly hope everthing works out for your family.

100% Mind Controlling

When I took Jeremy to Parkway years ago they said it was very Mind Controlling.
It's a tunnell vision.
For Jeremy it is a very spiritual event. actually attack!
He fights with the devil in his sleep. He knows he is being lead into a bad thing, I actually heard him arguing while he was sleeping this past weekend, but I just went back to sleep thinking it was a bad dream, Next time I will know to wake him up and we can talk about it.
It is a very deep thing.
He knows in his heart that it is the "Devils Drug", there's only one way to stop it. Where I guess you could say he went wrong is this dry period in his Christian walk. He stoped going to church stopped going to his men's accountability group at church, then his fight with the mind controlling part got ahead. But then sometimes those dry spells only make the roots go deeper, he will be back in full swing with another experience within him.
I was no help when he started using. I knew nothing about drugs, I thought his behavior was just him being an A-Hole, because I was.....sorta...a B-Hole I was a very in control of my life and not very nice about things not going my way... ALL THE TIME.. I have since learned a lot about relationships and what it is supposed to be, the hard times that come between us.. They can either tear us apart, or make us stronger... Depends on how you handle it.
I was raised thinking my life should be treated like a little princess and NO MAN ever better hurt my feelings.
Well, not quit ever gonna happen..... While Jeremy and were apart I dated a few men. The one thing I learned was I could actually handle the things about Jeremy that got on my nerves, were with some stranger I think...NOT!
I read a book called "Everone's normal till you get to know them" Great!!! I learned to over look the little "as is" things that used to make everything he did 1000 times worse,and move on with the rest. Which leaves this addiction the one thing I need to help him with. I'm not sure you would say "HELP HIM WITH" but I don't continue to beat him over the head with negitive. If I see he's is doing something that could lead him the wrong way I sorta redirect him, throw a trip to Home Depot in there, just to stop what ever could develope. One thing would be if someone comes over and wants to have a few drinks.. AH NO! Any thing that could be addictive will lead them back.. Say having a buzz with beer or whatever makes some people think about there ex's or thinks about family that has past or what ever, That is what makes addicts think about using again. Then Tunnell vision comes in.. Even those energy drinks a gas stations... That's just speed in a liquid over the counter. So if you see way to much of that going on, you better investigate.
Jeremy has been so close to death by this stuff that he has had experiences we may never know.
What I get out of him I will share. Cause I'm learning. And If I could have know in the beginning things may be different.

When the user has used time stands still! Jeremy said the minute he did it he was so mad at his self, he did try to stay away till he felt normal, he slept took way to many showers just trying to buy time, but we, normal people, are still on real time. We know theyv'e been asleep to much, that theyv'e taken to many showers.
As far as detox, Jeremy went to Cobb Hospital for a week. They can't flush it out. It just has to wear off. The doctors do give them help sleeping I think. But that's it besides Vitamins. Then they give the patient a bus ticket. They do ot make them take the bus but they hand it over. That is the first step to see if they want to come clean. The bus would take them to a place they can live and work from... Jeremy didn't use his ticket so I have nothing else about it.


or even the feeling of money in the pocket that could be used to take the drug, this turns on the amygdala and other areas of the brain that are important for craving."
That is so very true, Jeremy is prime example..

[Don't Ask Why]

I think it happened again.


He has not admitted it.

I think I am madder at the fact that he has lied about little things, that he know I know the truth too.

My head hurts me so bad, I can't concentrate at work today.
I know that this is gonna be though. I can handle the fact that he lies for a couple days about using. But I can not, no wait CAN NOT stand a lier.


I am PMS'ing and I just have no patients. It may be that he didn't slip again, but with the other "lies" I think I have less patients. I can handle ALOT, but my rope is running out.

I watched John Hagee last night.
PROMISE___PROBLEMS__PROVISION

that made sence, God makes a promise , then comes the problem s, to see how we handle them, considering how we handle them, lets us know if we get the PROVISION .

Right now I just need peace in my heart.
I can't wait till I get to Church tonight.
It has been weight lifting to have such great people in my life.
Between PCom and my church family, I am lucky!
I want to handle all my problems the right way. Lord knows I want the Provision. I have to keep my focus here. It's hard.
I have much emphathy for NewHopeGal, I have seen myself in her position many times. (not that her situation was from the same evil thing)
I truely FEEL her pain.

[leslie71]

Are you ready for this??...Neither is crack or cocaine!...medical detox is not needed..now as far as alcohol and Herion?...You better believe it!

http://www.narconon...._addiction.html

[REV]

I was really curious about drossers question on whether meth is physically or pyschologically addictive. Does anyone know if this is true. I have never heard this and I guess I always assumed that it was comparable to alcohol or other drugs. If anyone out there knows more about it please post. Maybe it could help people better understand how to deal with it. Good luck Julie. I truly hope everthing works out for your family.

Meth is physically and pychologically addictive. People who say that it's not have not been there, or loved someone who has. It is not just an addiction to the drug, but the lifestyle as well.

There are withdrawals associated with quitting meth, or Ice, in particular. They are psychological as well as physical too. It is very painful to watch, I cannot imagine going through it myself.




Julie, I'm here girl

[Don't Ask Why]

Jeremy along with about 6 others got laid off work last WED.
That didn't help any.
They told all of them that they may call them back as early as the next 2 weeks.
So he went to Unemployment and they said he was not eligable. Even made it worse.
He kinda went into a depression, So that's why I don't know if it's depression or he slipped.
But I can't help if he doesn't tell me the truth.

The man that is the foreman for Jeremys work group is the one getting the stuff for him.
Yesterday the man called as I was there with Jeremy.
Jeremy told him right then,
he said " Man, remember I told you I don't want that stuff in my life"
The "foreman" said " Yeah, I remember, but that don't mean I believe ya"
Oh I could have crawed through that walkie talkie and strangled that man!!!!!!!!!!!!

BTW he lives on Macland rd with Tn tag.
You want more info PM me.
I need to find a way to stop this man.

[leslie71]

Jeremy along with about 6 others got laid off work last WED.
That didn't help any.
They told all of them that they may call them back as early as the next 2 weeks.
So he went to Unemployment and they said he was not eligable. Even made it worse.
He kinda went into a depression, So that's why I don't know if it's depression or he slipped.
But I can't help if he doesn't tell me the truth.

The man that is the foreman for Jeremys work group is the one getting the stuff for him.
Yesterday the man called as I was there with Jeremy.
Jeremy told him right then,
he said " Man, remember I told you I don't want that stuff in my life"
The "foreman" said " Yeah, I remember, but that don't mean I believe ya"
Oh I could have crawed through that walkie talkie and strangled that man!!!!!!!!!!!!

BTW he lives on Macland rd with Tn tag.
You want more info PM me.
I need to find a way to stop this man.

You don't need to worry about that man.....you need to get your husband away from him. One of the main things recovering addicts should do is separate themselves from anyone associated with their partying

[Lady Raider]

I for one think you need to worry about that man, that same man could be selling or giving to a child!

If the guy is in Jeremy's work group then Jeremy is better off finding another job anyway!

He does need to distant him self form the seller or giver, but if he is not selling or giving to Jeremy then he will just sell or give to someone else, so i think he needs to be took off the streets!

I wish you and Jeremy the best of luck,

[Don't Ask Why]

You don't need to worry about that man.....you need to get your husband away from him. One of the main things recovering addicts should do is separate themselves from anyone associated with their partying

Dangerous tweakers




If the law enforcement officer on the scene is unfamiliar with the physical signs of a tweaker, the abuser can appear normal. In fact, unlike a person intoxicated on alcohol with glassy eyes, slurred speech, and difficulty even standing up, a tweaker appears super-exaggerated normal. The tweaker's eyes are clear, his speech concise, and his movements brisk. With a closer look at the tweaker, law enforcement officers will notice that his eyes are moving about ten times faster than normal and may roll . He is talking in a quick, often steady voice with a slight quiver to it, and his movements are quick and jerky. The individual's movements are often exaggerated because he is overstimulated, and his thinking is scattered and subject to paranoid delusions.

The tweaker does not need provocation to react violently; however, confrontation increases the chance for a violent reaction. Law enforcement officers should consider the potential for violence when determining that a suspect is tweaking. For example, case histories indicate that tweakers react negatively to the sight of a police uniform. Confrontation between the tweaker and law enforcement often results in a verbal or physical assault on the officer.

Besides confrontation, nobody knows for certain what will trigger a tweaker to be irrational and violent. A tweaker exists in his own world , seeing and hearing things that no one else can perceive . His hallucinations are so vivid that they seem real. What law enforcement officers say and do enter into the abuser's altered reality, and if his paranoia is triggered, law enforcement appears to be a threat to the tweaker's life.

It is during tweaking that hostage situations can easily occur . If the abuser feels cornered, with no means of escape, the tweaker is likely to take a hostage, often an associate, a relative, or a police officer. In extreme cases, the tweaker may physically assault the hostage.


This came from the website you posted Lesley

The highlited is so 100% true.

Yesterday he thought I was running away from him unless I sat in the same spot. He would just loose it and start crying, He was battling himself. Things he would say were NOT true, he knew it. But if he said it enough he believed it to be true.
It got on my nerves SO bad. I wanted to twich my nose and be gone.
I didn't say much because he did all the talking. He ask me a question, then he answeredit..
I would just make the comment to say " If your gonna answer your own question, atleast give the right answer."


As far as the other man, I don't put much into him, but if anyone lives near or see's him stay away.

The NERVE of that man.

[Don't Ask Why]

I for one think you need to worry about that man, that same man could be selling or giving to a child!

If the guy is in Jeremy's work group then Jeremy is better off finding another job anyway!

He does need to distant him self form the seller or giver, but if he is not selling or giving to Jeremy then he will just sell or give to someone else, so i think he needs to be took off the streets!

I wish you and Jeremy the best of luck,

You know I worry about him for other people.
This job was a new job at one time.
The thing is how do you find out that someone else is a meth user.
"Hi, my name is Jeremy, I like meth"
He has to be the one to say NO, all the time.
I feel that if someone KNOWS 100% that you want nothing to do with the stuff they wont offer it.
I never get offers or updates on who has dope today. But if there was someone here that has it, they know I have no interest in it so they don't update me.
That's where his problem is.

[leslie71]

Dangerous tweakers


If the law enforcement officer on the scene is unfamiliar with the physical signs of a tweaker, the abuser can appear normal. In fact, unlike a person intoxicated on alcohol with glassy eyes, slurred speech, and difficulty even standing up, a tweaker appears super-exaggerated normal. The tweaker's eyes are clear, his speech concise, and his movements brisk. With a closer look at the tweaker, law enforcement officers will notice that his eyes are moving about ten times faster than normal and may roll . He is talking in a quick, often steady voice with a slight quiver to it, and his movements are quick and jerky. The individual's movements are often exaggerated because he is overstimulated, and his thinking is scattered and subject to paranoid delusions.

The tweaker does not need provocation to react violently; however, confrontation increases the chance for a violent reaction. Law enforcement officers should consider the potential for violence when determining that a suspect is tweaking. For example, case histories indicate that tweakers react negatively to the sight of a police uniform. Confrontation between the tweaker and law enforcement often results in a verbal or physical assault on the officer.

Besides confrontation, nobody knows for certain what will trigger a tweaker to be irrational and violent. A tweaker exists in his own world , seeing and hearing things that no one else can perceive . His hallucinations are so vivid that they seem real. What law enforcement officers say and do enter into the abuser's altered reality, and if his paranoia is triggered, law enforcement appears to be a threat to the tweaker's life.

It is during tweaking that hostage situations can easily occur . If the abuser feels cornered, with no means of escape, the tweaker is likely to take a hostage, often an associate, a relative, or a police officer. In extreme cases, the tweaker may physically assault the hostage.
This came from the website you posted Lesley

The highlited is so 100% true.

Yesterday he thought I was running away from him unless I sat in the same spot. He would just loose it and start crying, He was battling himself. Things he would say were NOT true, he knew it. But if he said it enough he believed it to be true.
It got on my nerves SO bad. I wanted to twich my nose and be gone.
I didn't say much because he did all the talking. He ask me a question, then he answeredit..
I would just make the comment to say " If your gonna answer your own question, atleast give the right answer."
As far as the other man, I don't put much into him, but if anyone lives near or see's him stay away.

The NERVE of that man.

So call the PCSO and give them the dude's name - tell them you think he's selling drugs.

They'll be on him like stink on poo.

P.S. I can spot a tweaker a mile away

[Don't Ask Why]

I so totally agree with this statement.

Julie, I am so sorry that you are having to go through this, but I have seen you grow over the last year. You know in your heart what is right, and only you know how to handle this situation with your husband. I think counseling would still be helpful for any decision making, but the decision is ultimately yours.

I will be praying for you and your family. And thanks for being so honest and keeping us up-to-date. More prayers mean more positive results.
This is what I found, it was a little difficult to find the web site for the Potter's House in Jefferson, GA. It is through the Atlanta Union Mission.
The Potter's House

I printed the info. I will give this to him when I get home.

Thanks

This is very hard and there's no lite way to put it. BUt I would really rather go through it than see it on someone else. I have seen Jeremys mom go through pure Hell with Jeremy. It kills her. But she is strong also. She helps me. and his dad is very helpful. They will talk to me at all hours of the night if they need too.

It's not gonna knock me down, I'm tripping and propping myself up at times,

all I can expect is to get stronger.

[REV]

P.S. I can spot a tweaker a mile away

Me too!


Here's another link for a treatment facility....

Link

This place comes highly recommended.

[Don't Ask Why]

Me too!
Here's another link for a treatment facility....

Link

This place comes highly recommended.

I printed this also.
Thanks Rev

[chansky]

i went through a similar situation with my childrens father...he was hookded on meth <and probably still is> it took me over a year to finally realize that no matter what i did he was never gonna change...

when i 1st met him he was the greatest...he was in an accident and ever since then he just went downhill.....my life now, without him, is a thousand times better

if you ever need anything....let me know

[Don't Ask Why]

I made him leave yesterday. It was the hardest thing to do.
he has to be willing to let me. and when he lies about what is happening I stop everything thats happening to get to the truth. I took him to O'Charlies to eat when I got off work. I talked to him about my feelings and he just would not talk to me. I knew he had no eaten in days, so I wanted him to eat good, and I know he loves O'Charlies. Well, he barely got thru eating his quesadilla (he has NEVER EVER order this before) It was not his norm. He goes for steak and baked potatoe. I was at the point I quit talking to him. That FREAKED him out. He wanted me to please talk to him then. But when I did he said " You talkin' about me?"
Oh did he think I was talking to the guy in the car we had just passed!!! That's what I said to him too. He got scared and was crying. Oh, the crap I just can't handle. I just wanted the Truth. I tried to hand him the truth, All he had to do was say it. He refused. I knew the truth, he knew it. He just wanted to pretend it didn't happen. Come to find out, he thinks as long as he stays home and is not screwing around, I should not be mad. He told my sister that yesterday.. I guess that is one way of deceiving himself. I talked to him about deception, he took it personal instead of opening his eyes to it. But I think he is still "tweaking" So it may talk him a few days for it to sink in.
Carley said "Daddy why you leaving?" He first told her "cause your mommy thinks I'm lying"
I could have sent his noggin sailing!! He saw my face. He decided to tell her he was sick and he couldn't stay at the house till he got better.
She wanted to know where he would be staying and if he wouldcall her and she ask me if Daddy could come by the house and see her. I said of course. and she was OK. She kept trying to talk to him when my stepdad was leaving with him. It was sad. I have had a headach all week. I never get headachs. But I know it was the best thing, in the situation. I can't help him if he's gonna lie about it.

It aint easy stickin to your guns It's like a tennis match in my head, Ireally just have to close my eyes and pray pray pray!!

[cherokeewoman]

Julie Rhea - stay strong, you made the right decision. He needs to find his own way without dependence on you. You have done all that you can - you have given support taken him back, been there for him. You have patience. There is only so much you can do. You can't make him quit. Put your strength in you getting over this and what you can do for you and the children. You need to now put you in the number one position and your children. Let him go.... I know it will hurt. the ole saying if you love something let it go..... if it is true it will come back to you. There is only so much you can do for an addict. I commend you and your efforts, but you have suffered so much with committment and loss. There is only so much you can do the rest will be up to him, there is only so much help you can give him. You have given him all you have. God will have a special place in heaven for what you have done. Go to your church, look after you and the children, I know meth is a devil drug and it is very hard to get off it. He must have gotten of it while in jail? Wasn't he in there for a while? Did they offer some rehab? Or do you think he a connection there? I pray for you strength in this matter. Remember the serenity prayer. We can only do so much. You are young and have a life before you, don't let him ruin it. Keep strong, think about you and your children - you have no control over him. You do have control over your life and your children. Be strong. You and your children deserve better. Let him go if he reaches the bottom and find his way up that is good,but you have done all you can.
Look after yourself.

[HOTMOM]

Julie Rhea - stay strong, you made the right decision. He needs to find his own way without dependence on you. You have done all that you can - you have given support taken him back, been there for him. You have patience. There is only so much you can do. You can't make him quit. Put your strength in you getting over this and what you can do for you and the children. You need to now put you in the number one position and your children. Let him go.... I know it will hurt. the ole saying if you love something let it go..... if it is true it will come back to you. There is only so much you can do for an addict. I commend you and your efforts, but you have suffered so much with committment and loss. There is only so much you can do the rest will be up to him, there is only so much help you can give him. You have given him all you have. God will have a special place in heaven for what you have done. Go to your church, look after you and the children, I know meth is a devil drug and it is very hard to get off it. He must have gotten of it while in jail? Wasn't he in there for a while? Did they offer some rehab? Or do you think he a connection there? I pray for you strength in this matter. Remember the serenity prayer. We can only do so much. You are young and have a life before you, don't let him ruin it. Keep strong, think about you and your children - you have no control over him. You do have control over your life and your children. Be strong. You and your children deserve better. Let him go if he reaches the bottom and find his way up that is good,but you have done all you can.
Look after yourself.

[Don't Ask Why]

Julie Rhea - stay strong, you made the right decision. He needs to find his own way without dependence on you. You have done all that you can - you have given support taken him back, been there for him. You have patience. There is only so much you can do. You can't make him quit. Put your strength in you getting over this and what you can do for you and the children. You need to now put you in the number one position and your children. Let him go.... I know it will hurt. the ole saying if you love something let it go..... if it is true it will come back to you. There is only so much you can do for an addict. I commend you and your efforts, but you have suffered so much with committment and loss. There is only so much you can do the rest will be up to him, there is only so much help you can give him. You have given him all you have. God will have a special place in heaven for what you have done. Go to your church, look after you and the children, I know meth is a devil drug and it is very hard to get off it. He must have gotten of it while in jail? Wasn't he in there for a while? Did they offer some rehab? Or do you think he a connection there? I pray for you strength in this matter. Remember the serenity prayer. We can only do so much. You are young and have a life before you, don't let him ruin it. Keep strong, think about you and your children - you have no control over him. You do have control over your life and your children. Be strong. You and your children deserve better. Let him go if he reaches the bottom and find his way up that is good,but you have done all you can.
Look after yourself.

He was in there a while.
He did none in jail, he first slipped in March. Then after that he has not been as strong. I have heard that untill they are 110% ready to stop, they are thinking about the next time before they are even over the current time. It seems he has convenced himself now that it's ok if he stays home.
I think he's taken advantage of his life, and that is sad.
He is telling his family that he has not done anything wrong and I had some other reason for making him leave..
But... I have had this one conversation with him that seems to be a math problem. I bet 10 times or more in 2 days. but he just thinks I have forgoten the truth.. Oh it's just crazy, Like a dog chasing it's tell. That's why I made him leave. I'm exhausted.

Here's the facts:
Jeremy does a side job and gets paid on Sunday for 2 days work. This Sunday he didn't hand me his $, which is what he does when he does right.
Monday Shea wanted to have her nails done and go eat with her friend. He gave her $40. He didn't want too, but I made him.
I needed gas, so I take him with me so he could pay, all this time he knows I should have the $ and not him, but he is still trying to make like he didn't get paid.
He put $29 of gas in my car. I am the one that drives a million miles to work and I use my $ to pay the bills, He should have filled my car up. He didn't want to loose that much of his play $. So I said why didn't you fill it up? He said well I gave Shea $40. I don't have enough to fill it up. I knew he had $200 Sunday. He thinks he's slick, like he can make time pass without me saying anything. WRONG I am on him like glue. So I say: How many days did you get paid for?" He said 1.. This is the start of the lies. So I give him every opportunity to tell the truth. Till the day I made him leave he couldn't do it.
so I lay it out for him like this:
You will not be kicked out if you tell the truth, I know you have a problem, but if you can't atleast tell the truth I will make you leave for lying. I can't help a lier. He could not do it. He wanted me to except that all he would say is "You know the truth, I'm scared to say it, I'm scared of what you might do?"
So after about 30 minutes I had to leave for church, he wanted to walk along the car saying just stop so I can tell you. So I stopped and he procrastinated, and never said anything and wouldn't go to church. Earlier that day he told my dad he was going to church.
He says things just to get throught he moment, If he can win you over that minute he has accomplished something in his head. But he is not as far ahead as he thinks he is, with me anyway.

He said " I have to get ready to tell the truth!"
I have never heard that one before

This post has been edited by JulieRhea: 09 June 2006 - 11:06 AM

[REV]

Julie,
I think that you were right in making him leave, because he's so mixed up and playing with your emotions.
My heart breaks for you, you know that, and it is my constant prayer that he will turn his life around before it's too late.

Sometimes turning away is the only way to get someone's attention. I know it's hard, but you are strong, and your faith is remarkable.


I love ya girly, please let me know if I can do anything.

[leslie71]

GOOD FOR YOU!

If only more women would insist on being treated right rather than looking the other way just to maintain the status quo.

You're a strong woman and that's to be admired!

[iamadawgfan]

Julie,
I think that you were right in making him leave, because he's so mixed up and playing with your emotions.
My heart breaks for you, you know that, and it is my constant prayer that he will turn his life around before it's too late.

Sometimes turning away is the only way to get someone's attention. I know it's hard, but you are strong, and your faith is remarkable.
I love ya girly, please let me know if I can do anything.

Totally agree 100%. You have to look out for YOU and YOUR CHILD(CHILDREN). You will be just fine. Sometimes it takes what I call an "attention gitter" to get someones attention. You did the right thing. It must be hard but you can do it. Stay strong for your child.

[Don't Ask Why]

I talked with a Deacon at church yesterday. I was takin to this man by a church member for a reason.
This reason being he is also part of the Meth Task Force Meth In Douglas

He gave me his # to give Jeremy and to keep for myself if I needed him for anything.
This was his deal for stepping in:

He will NOT stop untill Jeremy either comes clean and stays on top of recovery
Or
Once he talks with Jeremy he will be hot on his trail to have him out of society.
He will not stop till the end.
That was his words to me
I was very pleased to see someone that is not willing to stop when the addicted is no longer interested.

He also said he would give me a drug test so if I ever want to give him one I would not have to mess going to the store and buying an over the counter one. Also that would hold up for his Probation officer to take a step with.

[Tahoe]

I talked with a Deacon at church yesterday. I was takin to this man by a church member for a reason.
This reason being he is also part of the Meth Task Force Meth In Douglas

He gave me his # to give Jeremy and to keep for myself if I needed him for anything.
This was his deal for stepping in:

He will NOT stop untill Jeremy either comes clean and stays on top of recovery
Or
Once he talks with Jeremy he will be hot on his trail to have him out of society.
He will not stop till the end.
That was his words to me
I was very pleased to see someone that is not willing to stop when the addicted is no longer interested.

He also said he would give me a drug test so if I ever want to give him one I would not have to mess going to the store and buying an over the counter one. Also that would hold up for his Probation officer to take a step with.

My prayers are with you.....

[mrshoward]

You have been doing this for 6 years ?

How many more days of your life are you willing to waste
babysitting a grown man ?

He has made his CHOICE time and time again to put METH ahead of you and your child !
Move on with your life and find a real man !

[cherokeewoman]

JulieRhea - I am glad that your church is so supportive with him. Keep up you strength, remember the serenity prayer and look after you and your children. You know you have no control over him or his actions.
You can not make him stop and you can not enable him. That will not help him or you.
Faith be with you, keep strong you are a remarkable woman.
Are you in any kind of support group?

This post has been edited by cherokeewoman: 12 June 2006 - 08:52 PM